Get Back
by Spoon Luv
Summary: In a mysterious blast, Jafar is transported to 2002, and it's up to Iago to rescue him! *COMPLETE!* R/R Pleeze!
1. Crackers, High Scores, and Tornadoes

Get Back  
  
By Spoon Luv  
  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own these characters. Nor do they own me. You hear? I ain't your slave!!! I'll stop watching you whenever I want! Ok, enjoy!  
  
  
It was early afternoon in Agrabah, and in the palace, Genie was playing Super Smash Bros. Melee against Aladdin.  
"Yee ha! You lose, Al!" Cried Genie.  
"It's not fair!" Whined Aladdin. "You've been to the future, so you know how to work this thing." He stared at the controller. "I have no idea what to do with this."  
"Ooooh, somebody's a sore loser!"  
"No I'm not!" Cried Aladdin. "It's just that..."  
"Aladdin!" Called Jasmine, coming into the room, "Abu got into the pantry again and there's banana peels everywhere! Come clean it up!"  
"But Jasmine, I'm in the middle of..."  
"NOW, ALADDIN!"  
"Yes dear." Said Aladdin, getting up.  
"Ah the happy couple." Sighed Genie.  
"Shut your face!" said Aladdin.  
"You got it!" Both sides of Genie's face closed in on themselves. Aladdin slapped his head and went inside. Left with nothing to do, Genie started watching "The Fast and the Furious" on DVD.  
"Genie?" Said Jafar, sweeping into the room, "Do you know where Iago is?"  
"Not a clue, J." Said Genie. "Maybe the Sultan knows."  
Jafar went to the throne room to see Iago sitting on the armrest of the Sultan's throne with his mouth open.  
"Come on, stuff 'em in." he was saying. The Sultan took a bunch of crackers from a red box and fed them to Iago. "Ah, now THAT'S a good cracker!"  
"Ah, Iago..."  
Iago looked up. "Not now, Jafar. I'm...::ah:: busy."  
Jafar scratched his head. "I thought you despised the Sultan's crackers."  
"No, no, they opened a new general store in the marketplace," said the Sultan, "They have this brand of crackers, it's called "Ritz." Iago likes them very much. As if it weren't obvious."  
"Show him the vault." Iago whispered with a grin.  
"Oh, yes..." The Sultan pushed his throne aside and opened a hidden door to reveal shelves upon shelves of Ritz crackers. Jafar frowned.  
"Iago, I need your assistance..."  
"In ten minutes, all right? Geez..."  
"Very well."  
  
Jafar returned to the living room to see Genie and Aladdin playing "Pac-Man" on an Atari.  
"Now see, THIS is something I can play!" Said Aladdin.  
Genie transformed into a caveman. "Yes but it's so old...it's ancient. Oooga!"  
"May I try?" Asked Jafar.  
"Sure, I guess." Said Aladdin.  
Jafar picked up the joystick and started playing.  
  
Ten minutes later...  
  
"Allah damn, Jafar! You're on level 45 and you haven't lost a life yet!" Cried Aladdin.  
Jafar ended the game with a score of 455,332,120. Genie and Aladdin stared at him with their mouths open.  
"Now then, I must attend to business!" said Jafar calmly, and he set down the joystick and went back into the throne room.  
He was greeted by harsh sounds coming from square boxes on the walls. He covered his ears. "Your Majesty, what is this racket?"  
"It's Puff Daddy." Said the Sultan.  
Jafar listened for a moment, then gasped. "By Allah, the language this man uses! Come, Iago, we have work to do!"  
Iago flew with Jafar to the west wing of the palace and Jafar opened the secret passage into his laboratory.  
"What do we have to do now, Jafar?" Asked Iago.  
"Remember how we used the Sultan's ring to make Aladdin's picture appear in my hourglass?"  
"Yes."  
"Well that ring was part of the first edition of magic rings. They just came out with a second edition, and I have the first one!" He held up a shining, diamond ring.  
"How'd you do that?" Asked Iago.  
"There was a nice young man selling them out of a box in the marketplace. He gave me a great deal on it, too."  
Iago slapped his head but kept quiet.  
Jafar placed the ring between the two snakes.  
"What's supposed to appear with this one?" Iago asked, hopping up on the gears.  
"He said it would be a surprise. Now...RUN!!!"  
Iago took a deep breath and started running on the wheel. Soon a big cloud formed over the hourglass.  
"Huff...puff...son of a b*tch..." gasped the parrot.  
"Watch your language, Iago. Faster!!!"  
Iago pushed himself harder, and then a lightning bolt struck the ring. Then, a tornado appeared in the laboratory!  
"Ohhhh CRAP!" Cried Jafar and he started to run, but the tornado caught him and then they both vanished.  
Iago stood staring at where Jafar was standing just a second ago. "That was a surprise all right." 


	2. Planning the rescue

Chapter 2  
  
A man walks down the street, it's a street in a strange world...  
Maybe it's the third world...  
Maybe it's his first time around.  
Doesn't speak the language, holds no currency...  
He is a foreign man...  
----From "Call me Al" by Paul Simon  
  
Jafar slowly opened his eyes. "Uhhhgh...where the Hades am I?" He was lying in an alley between two buildings. He stood up and dusted himself off, then looked at the buildings.  
"That's funny...they don't look like alabaster." Said Jafar, but he shrugged it off and walked out of the alley. Then he screamed.  
He was in a totally different world! There were huge buildings everywhere, the dirt streets had become hard and black, and there were huge animals running along the roads! And it was NOISY! This sure wasn't Agrabah, he told himself.  
Suddenly, someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey buddy!"  
Jafar turned. "Can I help you?"  
"Yeah, you can! Gimme all your money right now!"  
Jafar laughed. "Don't try to steal from me! I'll have the guards cut your arm off!"  
"Guards? What the hell yous talkin about?"  
"You know, the palace guards?"  
The man eyed Jafar over. "You new in town?"  
"You are astonishingly perceptive."  
"Aight, I'll give you a break today. Just hope we don't meet again."  
"Um...ok."  
Jafar resumed looking around. This world was so weird... He started to walk into the street, when one of the metal animals charged him. In the blink of an eye, he had his snake staff out and he shot a lightning bolt at it, disintegrating it.  
"Hey! That's my car, motherf*cker!" Said the driver, storming over. "What the f*ck are you f*ckin doin? Huh? You gonna pay for my car now, b*tch! How do you like those f*ckin apples?"  
Jafar sensed that there would be trouble, so he teleported himself a few blocks away. He decided to ask someone for help. As he walked, he saw people laughing at him.  
"Hey look at that guy's clothes!"  
"Nice hat, ya moron!"  
"Shave much, buddy?"  
"Who wears a cape in New York City?"  
Jafar ignored them and soon he found a young man sitting on a bench, holding some sort of rectangular device.  
"Excuse me..."  
The boy looked up. "Hang on, let me save my game."  
"Um, okay..."  
In a minute, the boy looked up again. "Hello."  
"Yes, hello. I was wondering if you could tell me exactly where I am."  
The boy looked at him in puzzlement. "You mean you don't know?"  
"No, I'm afraid not."  
"You're in New York City, baby!"  
"And what year is it?"  
"Boy, where have you been hiding? It's 2002!"  
Jafar jumped. "2002???? By Allah..." he noticed the device the boy was holding. "May I see this a moment?"  
"Sure."  
Jafar picked it up. "This material feels so strange... what is it?"  
"It's plastic, man."  
"Plastic?? Very interesting. Most interesting."  
"Let me give you some advice." The boy said. "You can't walk around in NYC with those clothes. You gotta dress appropriately."  
"So how do I do that?"  
"Go into the GAP."  
Jafar stared at him. "You mean for me to jump into an abyss?"  
"No, no, no...it's a store. You buy clothes there."  
"I see. Thank you. What is your name?"  
"Paul."  
"Thank you, Paul. I'll see you later."  
Jafar went and tried to find this "abyss store."  
  
Meanwhile, back in Agrabah...  
  
"Aladdin! Aladdin!!!" Iago screamed, flying through the palace. He found Aladdin playing "Super Mario Bros." with Genie.  
"These graphics are awesome!!!!" cried Aladdin.  
Genie chuckled.  
"What's wrong with you?"  
"Nothin', nothin'. Heh heh."  
"Aladdin!"  
"What is it Iago?" Asked Aladdin.  
"It's Jafar! He was using his hourglass, and a tornado came and took him away! He's gone!!!!"  
Genie turned into a marching band and started playing a celebration song. Aladdin shot him a dirty look.  
"Do you know where he went?" Asked Aladdin.  
"I have no idea!"  
"Genie, can't you sense him at all?"  
"Hmm..." Genie's face turned into a huge satellite dish that started rotating around and around. Then it turned back to his face. "I've found him! He's several thousand years in the future! 2002 to be precise!"  
"Holy shiatzu!" cried Iago.  
"He's in a city called New York."  
"He won't be able to live in that time!" Said Aladdin. "We've gotta save him!"  
"Yes, you're absolutely right!" said Genie. "But we need someone dependable to get him!"  
The room was silent, and then Iago felt very uncomfortable.  
"How sad...the parrot can't take a hint." Whispered Genie.  
"You want ME to get him?" Cried Iago.  
"That's right, he can be taught!!!!"  
"But, but..."  
"It'll be easy!" Said Aladdin, "All you have to do is go there, find him, then come back."  
Iago sighed. "Fine, fine... so you're gonna transport me there, blue boy?"  
Genie shook his head. "My powers aren't that strong anymore. But I have a friend who can help you get there."  
A man in a radiation suit with white wavy hair came in with a young man in a life preserver.  
"Who the Hades are they?" Asked Iago.  
"I'm Doc, and this is Marty." The man said.  
"Oh."  
"Now, all you have to do is get this car going to 88 miles an hour, and then you should be in 2002. Use this plutonium to get back, you got it?"  
"And this thing won't screw up?"  
"Precisely." Said the Doc. "Let's go."  
  
5 minutes later, outside the palace...  
  
"You strapped in tight, birdie?" Asked Doc.  
"Yeah, I think so." Said Iago.  
"All right then, let's do this. Marty, roll the camera."  
"Check, Doc." The boy said.  
Doc used his RC controller to zoom the car down the marketplace road and it vanished right before it slammed into Rasoul and the other guards.  
"Taken by a tornado?" Asked Marty. "That's pretty heavy."  
"Weight has nothing to do with it." 


	3. The Return Of Jafar (To Agrabah, I mean)

Chapter 3

Boom! Boom! CRASH! The DeLorean appeared with a blast and skidded to a stop in Central Park. After stading still for a few moments, the door opened and Iago staggered out.

"I'm alive…" He said, looking around, and then he threw himself on the ground and cried in delight, "I'm alive!!!"

"Hey bird, watch it! I'm walkin, here!" Said a man, kicking him aside.

"Whatever." Said Iago, dusting himself off. "Now I gotta go find Jafar. Where would that asshole put himself in a city like this?"

Iago started flying up and down the busy NYC streets, amazed at how far technology had advanced since his time.

But then he realized something else…he was hungry. And if he didn't eat soon, he was gonna go crazy.

He got an idea. He flew into a corner store on 53rd Street.

"Can I help you?" The clerk asked.

"Yeah, I'd uh, like a box of Ritz crackers." Said Iago nervously.

"Yeah, they're in the back. Next to the Pepsi."

Iago flew to the back of the store and grabbed a box of Ritz crackers, and then returned to the desk.

"How you gonna pay for this, birdie?" the man asked.

"Um, well actually…" Iago stuttered.

"Are you a theif???"

"NO! But that guy is!" Said Iago, pointing. When the man turned to look, Iago got the hell outta there! Then he perched on a bench and started chowing down on the crackers.

"Just to hold me over till I get back to Agrabah." He told himself.

A guy walking past said to his buddy, "Hey Jamal, look at that! Polly's givin himself a cracker!"

"Do you mind???" Asked Iago, turning away.

"What, you dissin us, bird?" The guys asked, coming closer. "Wassup wit you? You want us to bust up your head?"

"Ummm, ummm, ummm… Please forgive me."

"You want us to forgive you, you gotta sing for us, pretty parrot."

Iago suddenly remembered a spell Jafar had taught him, so he said, "Okay, I'll sing." He floated up in front of them. _"Poor unfortunate souls! In pain…In need…"_

"WHO'S poor unfortunate souls?" The guy asked angrily.

"You are." Said Iago, then he disappeared. It was an illusionary copy of him! By now the REAL Iago was 3 blocks away. "Gets them every time." He chuckled.

After flying for an hour, he found no sign of Jafar. He stopped to rest on a wastebasket, and he noticed the ad in a newspaper inside.

**__**

"Come and see a collection of ancient Arabian stuff! We have clothes, armor, and equipment used by an ancient Arabian sorcerer! Come see us today! Located on Broadway and 55th Street!"

"Bingo." Whispered Iago, and he started out towards the location.

Meanwhile, back in Agrabah…

"I wonder how our feathered friend is doing?" Said Genie over a can of Mountain Dew.

"Eh ooh ah echuu eahdchuu!" Said Abu.

Genie gasped. "Abu! Who taught you that language?"

"Awaddin."

Genie gasped again. "Is that right, Al?"

"Geez, look at this!" Said Aladdin, who was playing "Aladdin" on SNES, "I want to find Capcom and shoot them! I look terrible in this!"

Genie sighed. "Oh, Al…"

Meanwhile, back in New York City…

Iago arrived at the building on the corner of 55th and Broadway and went in.

He looked around, and was amazed. It was all Jafar's stuff! His cape, his hat, his snake staff… all behind glass. And nobody was there except an old man behind the desk reading a magazine.

"Admission's free." Said the man without looking up.

"Uh, I'm looking for a guy, kinda the tall, dark, and mysterious type… he wore stuff like this…you know him?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about…" The man began, then looked up and jumped. "Iago! What are you doing here???"

"I've come to save you!"

"From what?"

"Well, I dunno… they said you really can't live in this time."

"I have no idea what you mean…" Said Jafar. "I'm getting along just fine."

"Well the author says that you gotta return to Agrabah."

Jafar sighed. "I'd love to, but you gotta find somebody to take my place here."

"OK."

Two hours later, Iago returned with an Asian-looking man with a short beard, wearing a Yankees hat.

"He said he'd LOVE to take your place here!" Said Iago happily.

Jafar eyed him over. "What's your name?"

"Osama."

"And you think you're qualified to work here? Why?"

"Because I love this country. I have big plans for this country. I will make a name for myself." The man answered.

"Ah, the ambitious type. I like that! You're hired!" Said Jafar, shaking the man's hand. "Now then, Iago, let's be off!"

About three blocks down the road Jafar suddenly asked, "Uh, how exactly do we get back?"

"There's a car that'll take us. It's a time machine." Said Iago.

When they reached the DeLorean, Jafar got behind the wheel and said, "OK, how do you work this?"

"Well, you gotta turn the time circuits on and set the destination time." Said Iago. "Then you gotta get up to 88 MPH."

Jafar set everything, but the car wouldn't start.

"No…" he whispered. He tried repeadetly to start the engine, but it wouldn't turn on! "Damn!" He zapped the steering wheel in anger, and the car started. "YES!!! This car is mine to command! To CONTROL!!!"

"Just get us the hell home and stop with the quotes." Said Iago from the back seat.

"Right. Let's go!"

Jafar stepped on the gas, and the DeLorean zoomed down the street and disappeared.

CLICK! CLICK! BOOM!!!

In a flash, the DeLorean appeared back in the marketplace, sending sheep, cattle, and the guards running for cover.

"Ah, it's good to be back!" Said Jafar, getting out of the car and stretching. "Let's go back to the palace!"

As they were walking, a voice said, "Hey buddy! I got these new hourglass rings that just came out! I'll trade one for 2 sheep?"

Jafar laughed. "Kiss my ass!"

Back at the palace…

As Jafar walked in, Genie and Aladdin were playing "Pokemon Stadium." 

"Now, see, Abu? Why can't you be more like Pikachu?" Said Aladdin. Abu crossed his arms and grumbled.

"I'm back everyone!"

"Welcome back, J!" Said Genie.

"Yeah, how was your joyride?" Asked Aladdin.

"It was off da hook." Replied Jafar.

"What did you just say?"

"What? You got a problem wit that?"

"Uhhhh no…" said Genie. "Come on let's keep playing, Al."

Jafar returned to his chambers to watch "Jerry Springer, and Iago flew into the throne room.

"I believe you have crackers waiting for me?" He said to the Sultan.

THE END!!!

"Get Back" has been written by Spoonie Luv from Up Above

Email at: Spoonieluv2187@hotmail.com 


End file.
